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2. Uncharted
3. Disbelief
5. Sara Jane
nervous energy coursing through my hands,this may not seem like the best way to commence
a progression with honest intentions,
but who knows when we’ll get the chance?
try to force this idea out of my head,
to self-preserve with restraint from what i’ve said to myself,
but only in whispers: for each other we were meant.
always moving cautiously,
walking with you in my sleep,
musings roam across confines,
trust will keep what patience finds.
to hear your voice is a bite for the starving,
and every element of this exchange
is helping me try to accept this remoteness
is the closest I can get.
always watching over me,
I’ve thought of you constantly,
for this burden that we share,
helps us love and not despair.
no, we won’t betray the silence on this topic.
we’re waiting on these years
to deliver us what’s framed between our thoughts,
and drawn inside our hands,
and hidden in our hearts
always watching over me,
I’ve thought of you constantly,
musings roam across confines,
trust will keep what patience finds.
UNCHARTED:
am I a welcome distraction,
preceding summer skies?
hoping that autumn will release the leaves of stolen time.
would i recognize the last sunrise we divide?
we’ll remember half of the scenery
and we’ll re-create where we used to be.
this is uncharted, this is unsurveyed,
from the place we started to a destination careless of restraint.
describe unspoken intentions,
all with the briefest glance.
time is always insufficient
it won’t listen to a frequent or a firm demand.
I’ll trace your hand upon your lap,
i can hold you now at least i’ll promise that
DISBELIEF:
it isn’t in a photograph,
what we need to hold on to.
it isn’t my departure date
that i fear should come too soon.
before that fateful time,
i’ll realize where i am headed,
and i’ll find where i belong.
and when that course is run,
i hope that i will have a minute,
to tell you where i’ve gone,
but i’m suspended in disbelief now.
every moment builds upon
what our lives have come to be.
i keep in mind what you might say
or what you’d expect from me
tomorrow’s just a prophecy,
waiting to be grateful is too late.
I’ll miss you more than I can know,
what we’ve lost is more than we can take
It’s more than we can take all by ourselves.
FIRST IMPRESSION:
should I be convincing you,
or do i need to start with myself?
what’s safe is whatever you’re used to,
there’s always uncertainty,
but I’ll be around if you should need me.
I’ll never try to hurt you
but I’ll tell the truth
and you know, sometimes it hurts but you will grow.
I'll never try to push you, but to be alive is to believe,
that there’s a reason or a goal.
should I be impressive to you,
or does my first impression remain?
have I been a guest in your thoughts too?
do I appear graciously,
or am I the child who still controls me?
as the troubled times go by, the fear will subside/
side by side we’re gonna find,
that we can survive.
the words that slipped away will start to return/
turn my thoughts from doubts today,
as long as you stay.
stay, I'll never try to hurt you babe.
SARA JANE:
Sara Jane knows my name
as she proudly does proclaim
how could I not adore
my dearest friend the age of four
Carry you to your van
as the evening snowflakes land
strap you in to your seat
and wonder if you will remember me
Sara Jane, we've all got growing pains in store
but Sara Jane, you're no baby anymore
when we do meet again
if you've forgotten I'll pretend
not to know all along
and then remind you when I play this song
29: IMMUTABLE:
walking and sidewalk staring
I don't miss a step
grab a few leaves as I walk past this tree
forced into cracked cement
follow the tracks you left me
confused the more I know
i can't read the map you gave me
i never chose the road
tried to hold my world the way it was
but it crawled through
a wrinkle in my hand
try, try, try to hold you
QUICKSAND BEAUTY:
jet streams scar the sky
while I watch the clouded cloth entwine
a slow submersion
learning how to float in
quicksand beauty
I'm predisposed to sink below your sea
still I’m reaching, stubborn to concede
maybe slow is the only way to know
if I choose, will you refuse to let me go?
if I had a choice, I’d worry
quicksand beauty
my resistance took me underneath your grasp
heavy as your patient hold may seem
took the time to learn the value of failure
can I learn to hold my self-defeating words of anger?
took the time to learn the value of kindness
giving love, we hope that it returns
despite the errors of this windswept journey
hope that I’ll return
despite the errors of this windswept journey
I'm grateful for the breeze
ORCHIDS:
these hastily rooted orchids
grow on the roads crumbled under greed and shame
its the same as a rifle's wound or worse
when a child has to run from all she knows
what could bloom
wilts under dark truths
and the cowards marching in
can't see they can't win
these soberly quiet orchids
placed in the wake of an all consuming crowd
that has found neither guilt remorse nor fright
how can they survive
what could bloom
wilts under dark truths
and the cowards marching in
can't see they can't win
what's left when our precious ones
are taken from themselves
thought I saw her standing in the hallway
but this could not have been
she said, would you rather forget me?
held her close 'till the end
impossible scenes
in morning dreams
when morning seems unkind
before our own forgiveness is assigned
last night, we stood seven years behind us
one farewell heals my soul
courtyard daylight enters from the doorway
sun wears down, shadows grow
fragments of our design
echo in the night
i feel your absence so
it leaves me short of whole
it leaves me short of whole